High conflict divorces are common and the conflict rarely ends after the judge signs the decree and orders. Often, one party may be aggressive, abusive and harass the other party. These harrasments and abusive communication patterns can - and often do - get worse after the divorce is final, especially if the opposing party is a narcissist.
Grey Rock Communications highly recommends Our Family Wizard as the first line of defense against abusive communications. OFW is an app that has a messaging feature, but it is so much more than that. Most family law professionals are already familiar with OFW and how it can limit the destructive communication patterns. But it is NOT a guaranteed solution for parents who share minor children. Often the narcissist doesn't care if their messages are stored and they will continue to abuse their target via OFW and other co-parenting apps.
The judge signs the divorce and order for OFW and the abuser continues to abuse via the messaging part of the OFW app.
Communiation Order Options
There are several different options when asking the judge to order communications between the two parties.
- No orders - the attorneys could write no order at all and allow the parents to communicate via any medium (text, email, phone calls, messages on social media, and in person)
- Parenting apps - attorneys can present parenting apps like OFW for communications between parties as a means to limit and consolidate co-parenting communication.
- No Contact - sometimes orders of protection become no contact orders because of the threat of harm to one of the parties.
We feel that there is a missing option when these three don't solve the toxic communication patterns. That option is:
- Third party monitoring & responding - Currently third party monitoring is usually done by a family law attorney or a parenting coordinator. Both are fairly expensive to the client(s) and both don't do what Grey Rock Communications does for our clients.
By monitoring and RESPONDING on behalf of our clients, we are finding much success in ending the toxic communications from the aggressive party. And we are doing so at a very affordable monthly price.
We are successful because narcissists don't often target and attack people they don't know. They usually only attack known victims (supply).
When a narcissist emails his target (ex spouse), he will berate, attack, name-call, diminish, threaten, coerce, Hoover and demean them. He might say, "you're so difficult to work with" or "you're always thinking of yourself."
However, when the narcissist KNOWS that we are in between him and her, he will send messages like this: "can you ask Sarah if she will switch Christmas with me this year?" Why do they tone it down for a professional third party? There are many reasons:
- We can witness against them
- We have no emotional attachment
- We are not known to them
- We don't supply them with anything they want (chaos & conflict)
Sample orders for your cases
We want to provide the easiest methods for getting our third party monitoring service ordered by the courts. We are convinced that OFW is a must-have becuase of all they offer, so we've combined our service into an order with their app.
Click to download a .docx version of the sample order for GRC and OFW
You'll note that under section 11 there are some notification orders. We recommend that all notifications be UNCHECKED for your client and all notification methods be checked for the opposing party.
If you're a family law attorney and want to speak with one of us, shoot us a text at the number on the top right of our website. Let's set up a time to talk.