A lot of narcissists throw tantrums. When they don't get their way, they become angry, rage-filled, and scream and yell. The question is why do they throw tantrums?
To understand why narcissists throw tantrums, you have to understand that a narcissist usually has arrested development. This means that at some point in their childhood, their emotional maturity stopped (arrested). The narcissist may have never emotionally matured past that of a five year old, or an eight year old. What happens is that when a narcissist feels out of control, he or she handles that situation like a five-year-old.
Narcissists literally act like children. They react like children. And they don't have and never will have the emotional maturity to act like an adult.
What sparks the narcissist's tantrums though? Often it is the same thing that would spark a tantrum for a child. Here are a few things that can cause a tantrum for them.
- Need for Control: Narcissists often feel a strong need to be in control of their surroundings, and when things don't go their way, they may become frustrated or angry. Tantrums can be a way for them to exert control over a situation or to manipulate others to get what they want.
- Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often have a limited capacity for empathy and may struggle to understand or consider other people's perspectives. When their own desires or needs are not being met, they may react with anger or frustration without considering how their behavior affects others.
- Fragile Ego: Narcissists typically have an inflated sense of self-importance and can be very sensitive to criticism or rejection. When their ego is threatened, they may react with a tantrum as a way to protect their self-image.
- Attention-Seeking: Narcissists often crave attention and may use tantrums as a way to draw attention to themselves or to get others to focus on their needs.
What do you do when a narcissist throws a tantrum?
When a child throws a tantrum, there are several ways that you can handle them. Some of the same advice that parents receive to handle children's tantrums can be applied to narcissist's tantrums.
- Ignore the outburst. When the child is writhing on the floor, a good way to handle it is to ignore it completely. Same with a narcissist.
- Laugh it off. Laughing at what is happeining if an effective way to stop a tantrum. Same with a narcissist. Laugh at them. They won't be able to stand it with their fragile egos.
- Stick to your boundaries: Often Narcissists will throw tantrums when they lose the control of you. Narcissists hate boundaries and rules. They feel like rules dont apply to them so when you set them and enforce boundaries, they will often tantrum. Don't give in!
In conclusion, handle narcissists like you handle children. Essentially, they are are children. That is to say, their emotions haven't matured past a point in their childhood. Their intellect may have matured, but their emotions didn't. When they act like a child, treat them like a child. It can help.