Here are the initial steps you will take to regain your emotional well-being:

1. Never Speak to Them in Person: Avoid all face-to-face communication. Period.
2. Block Your Ex from Texting/Calling You:
1. Learn how to block on iPhone and Android
2. For emergencies, instruct your ex on how to reach you by setting one emergency contact. Also, block any and all numbers they may use to get through.
3. Remove Mutual Friends from Social Media:
1. Narcissists often create fake accounts to spy on you. Remove any common or mutual friends from your social media. If they are close friends of yours but not your ex’s, ask them to remove your ex from their friend list. His family members and friends may not be trustworthy.
4. Block Your Ex on Social Media:
1. Remove & block them from all social media platforms (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, etc.). Do not leave any open doors for them to contact you directly.
5. Set Email Rules:
1. This can be tricky, but we will guide you through it. Set rules on your email addresses to receive emails, forward a copy to us, mark them as read, and delete them. Do this for any and all email addresses your ex might use. If he creates a new email address, apply these settings to the new address as well.

Common Concerns:

• What if he creates a new email address and contacts me? Block any new email address he creates and refer him back to the email he needs to use.
• What if there is an emergency? - Emergencies are rare. Set a few unblocked phone numbers (e.g., his new spouse’s phone, your children’s phones) that can reach you but avoid giving him direct access.
• What if he wants to speak with the kids while they’re with me? - Set a specific time and date for calls, such as every Wednesday. This prevents him from having unrestricted access to you and maintains boundaries.
• What about phones for the children? - Each family decides individually. Some children get phones at a younger age, while others wait until they are older. Set rules that work for your family.
• What if I need something from him, like a schedule change? - Plan as far in advance as possible. This allows us to communicate your desired schedule change and get a timely response.
• What about communication about money? - Your decree should cover child support and extracurriculars. For extras, use a platform like Venmo. Your specific situation might differ, so tailor it to your needs.
• What about coordinating schedules and drop-offs? - We recommend drop-offs and pick-ups away from each other’s houses, such as at school, to avoid confrontations.
• What about coordinating vacations? - Provide as much advanced notice as possible.
• What if I am still close to his family? - This is tough. We recommend cutting ties with anyone connected to your marriage. His family is not your family after divorce, and blood is often thicker than water.
• What if our divorce decree requires us to communicate through an app? - Great! This is the very best way to communicate. It doesn't end the cycle of abuse, but it does record everything. We recommend Our Family Wizard, Talking Parents, or 2Houses.